The Babies Left Behind

Adoption ARK’s Latest Humanitarian Project

The Ukraine, an Eastern European county with an old and established international adoption program. For some reason its government decided this year to put an age restriction on the orphans that can be adopted internationally. Why? To give their domestic adoption program a chance to gain “popularity”. The government was concerned that all the young children were being adopted internationally leaving domestic couples seeking to adopt “childless”. Well, you would figure this would have made millions of little babies leave the orphanages all at once into the loving hands of Ukrainian couples… Maybe, in the ideal world. In reality, even though Ukrainians are becoming more open to the concept of adoption they are still far from accepting it as wide-ranging as it is being accepted in the US. So, for many little ones this new rule only means their stay in the orphanage will be years longer. Many of them won’t see their mom and dad until they turn 5 years old. The lucky ones, who have older brothers and sisters, might be adopted faster, but unfortunately, there are not a lot of families open to adopt more than one kiddo at once…

This November Adoption Ark contacted one of the Ukrainian orphanages with a cheerful name “Little Christmas Tree” to offer them our support and humanitarian aid. This is one of the orphanages where kiddos under the age of 5 yo, those who can not be adopted internationally yet, are living, growing and waiting to be old enough. Of course, the main and most important thing, which is always needed in the house full of babies, is diapers. After speaking with the caregivers, it became obvious that they are very often short of this basic necessity. Right then and there using Adoption Ark’s humanitarian funds we were able provide a supply of diapers to the orphanage and I was lucky enough to accompany the donation and spend some time in the orphanage myself.

I bet a lot of you read terrible stories on the internet how Eastern European orphanages are run down, short of staff and how children are not taken care of and neglected. Well, I can’t speak for all the orphanages around Eastern Europe but all the ones I’ve visited (and this one was not an exception) were not like that and even gave me a tiny feeling of hope. Hope, that at least some of these children will have a future. Hopefully a bright one. You could see that the staff really cared for them, the orphanage was in a very good condition - even though there was a lack of financial means to keep the place modern and well-equipped. It was clean, bright, had lots of color and even had a homey feeling to it. Of course, this was no home but you could tell how much effort was put into the place to make it look like one. Every three children had their own nanny, who treated them kindly and hardly ever raised her voice, she knew exactly what each and every child needed at this particular moment and why he or she was happy or upset.

Neglect is the opposite of what I saw in that orphanage. When I went to the baby ward, the caregivers told me how sometimes, when they run out of diapers they do it the old way, wrapping babies in baby-linen and washing those afterwards. They didn’t seem to have any problem with that - leaving a baby in a dirty diaper was not an option for those women. And I know for a fact it wasn’t a show they put on for me because I was representing organization providing them with humanitarian aid, they were honest and upfront with me, they even scolded  for not taking my shoes off in the corridor. I believe I wasn’t “American” enough for them, speaking the same language and knowing the cultural difference. They told me stories of all the babies I met – how this little girl had a mother who became an alcoholic after losing her husband and abandoned her daughter, how this little boy lost his mother, who was a single mom to cancer,  and how the most beautiful looking baby was left at the hospital without even getting a chance to get to know his mother. They told me how some of the little boys and girls still had one or even two grandparents who only visit them once in 2-3 months and how they wait for this visit like it’s the happiest day of their lives and how those grandparents won’t even notice if those children were gone one day… One of the women with a beautiful baby boy in her arms asked me kindly not to take pictures of him from the right, which surprised me. It turned out, the  baby boy was missing his right arm and she didn’t want people to think he was “less adorable” (how she said), in the picture. I could sense she was proud of the little boy and didn’t want anyone to think any less of him just because of his disability. That day I realized there is a little hero inside each of those women. They wake up every day and go to work to be a mom for those who are unfortunate enough not to have one. And being a mom is the hardest but at the same time the most rewarding job on Earth.

With big smiles of their faces the caregivers also proudly told me one of the babies was being adopted by Ukrainian couple in a week and they were laughing and telling me a story of how they had almost scared this couple to death saying they will hunt them down if something happens to their “daughter”. They also told me a story of one little girl, who was about 2.5 years old and how even though she was the prettiest little thing alive, no one would ever adopt her domestically because she had an older brother, who is turning 6 and soon will be transferred to another orphanage. It was their concern but it became my hope. I knew that her brother was old enough, which gave her a chance to skip another 3 years living in this friendly, warm, but still not her own, home. Help her skip 3 years of not being able to call someone mom or dad. Hopefully a family, who is reading this article right now and who have always dreamt of having children, a boy and a girl, will finally have the courage to say that this is the day they’ve decided to bring their children home. Maybe it will be them or maybe it will be you?

Adoption Ark will continue supporting “Little Christmas Tree” orphanage in Ukraine and on our next mission visit we are hoping to put together a supply of splash-paper, coloring books and play-dough for the toddler group, which was kindly requested by the caregivers of the Children’s Home. If you wish to donate to this cause, please go to: http://www.adoptionark.org/public/pag195.aspx


With Love,
Marina Snazina
Adoption Ark International Program Consultant

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